Post my celebration of the wiccan sabbat of Imbolc where I created a ritual of traditional pagan practices and celebration such as making the doll and other practices, I have explored deeply what areas of my life could be cleared out to make room for new energies. I have truly felt alive, inspired, and brand new. My communication in my intimate relationship has shown improvement but most importantly my response to my intimate partner has improved. I have been proud of myself for the boundaries I have set in my relationship. Once upon a time codependency issues stemming from a childhood of uncertainty and insecurity I would’ve crumbled and cried myself to sleep post disagreement with my partner wondering what I could do to be better to prevent disagreements and things that make me feel unloved and unworthy from happening. Now I had a similar dilemma, and I simply went to sleep I didn’t let it affect me emotionally and mentally and decided my peace was more worth my time. I woke up motivated and energized. My relationship isn’t the only improvements I’m seeing mentally at this time. My self confidence has improved and I’m taking better care of myself and my environment. My ability to regulate my emotions and control my behaviors when triggered by certain emotions is also improving. I even pushed my weekly therapy appointments out 3 weeks twice now because I didn’t feel I need it at the time. I was basically just using my therapist as a sounding board to tell her all the wonderful thoughts and discoveries I was making about my internal world. I am waking up everyday with intention and gratitude. Taking vitamins, drinking lots of water, eating healthier, I have started doing more routines and structured activities with the twins to teach them more knowledge to prep for PreK next year, I’m not just cooking meals but enjoying it as I dance and sing to my favorite songs. I’ve gotten more organized, patient, playful, and energetic. I truly have felt like I have a fire under my arse to be successful in life to finally start building a life that is more authentic to me and more fulfilling. I desire to just allow myself to be happy and know I deserve it. I am so blessed and grateful for all the wonderful things I have in my life. I have also been doing a lot of creative projects. I may have received the wonderful gift of a laminator for all my creative projects to be safe to keep forever that has me laminating literally everything. The changes I am seeing could have nothing to do with imbolc and the ritual, spells, or activities I offered at the time but it is a strange coincidence that the changes started to occur so rapidly and clearly following the ceremony. Also, might be a TMI moment but some people in the spiritual communities might find it interesting so #incaseyougiveash*t side note since the ritual I have had two full moons and both of which aligned with my menstrual cycle both phenomena historically linked to releasing the old and birthing new energy in spiritual and wiccan communities.
Anyways, all of this has led me to want to continue with the rest of the sabbats of the year. Learning about them and their traditional celebration and creating the space in my life to set up the altar and celebrate the traditional practices. The next sabbat I have now officially celebrated is Ostara. Ostara is a wiccan holiday and 1 of the 8 sabbats. Ostara celebrates the spring equinox. The word Ostara comes from Anglo Saxon goddess named Eostre. Eostre represented spring and new beginnings. Ancient customs celebrate spring. Ostara symbolizes fertility, rebirth and renewal. Time of the year marked by the beginning of agricultural cycle where farmers plant the seeds to harvest at the end of the year. Similarly, Ostara is all about taking the action steps and planting the seeds to harvest the goals and desires you have for the rest of the sabbats to come. Some of the ways to celebrate are building an altar with symbols of the holiday which as I would discover are not that different really than how we in America traditionally celebrate easter it seems. Easter while being a Christian holiday to honor the resurrection of Jesus Christ also takes to celebration with symbols such as baskets, egg decorating, and rabbits all traditional pagan practices to honor Ostara. Colors are pastels and spring themes such as flowers, birds, butterflies, and other signs that warmer weather is approaching. All symbolism traditionally used to celebrate easter time as well. Many Christian holidays celebrated by the mainstream population of American are around similar times and have some similar symbolism as the sabbats also such as Samhain and Halloween or yule and Christmas. So even if you are not traditionally and intentionally celebrating Ostara this calendar cycle if you celebrate easter with egg painting, baskets and bunnies while enjoying the beginning of spring through flowers, warm weather, bird, and other aspects you kind of are inadvertently celebrating Ostara just 2 weeks or so after it is traditionally celebrated as it is traditionally celebrated on the spring equinox in March.
Another thing I chose to do to celebrate was paint a spring inspired goddess even though it would turn out to be my least favorite painting I ever did, and I didn’t even finish it because I didn’t like it. I already decided that if this is a yearly thing I will have to paint a new one next year. The internet where I gathered my research for the celebration recommends hiking and looking for signs of spring and planting seeds for a garden. I didn’t hike though I would’ve loved to its march in upstate New York, and we are having a horrible snowstorm and I hate all cold wet things really. So instead, I got binoculars. Hiking backpacks, and all things outdoorsy for the twins for their birthday celebrate in preparation of hiking when the weather gets nicer. Also, upon looking up gardening march is also a little early for starting seeds and gardening, but I did pick up the seeds and have been looking up all the rules and regulations of starting a vegetable garden. I do mean rules and regulations also because as I am learning there are plenty. Some veggies can’t be next to other veggies because they can’t get along and share and will steal nutrients from one another. Some have to be started in pots inside while some don’t. some grow upwards and some outwards. Some are harvested multiple times others just once. The internet again where I collect all my information says that beginners should start with just 6 different kinds of veggies. I chose to start with just 3 as I have never had much of a green thumb. I make no promises I will successfully grow a vegetable this year, but I can promise I am going to at least try. Another tradition is to decorate painted eggs. I got plastic ones so I could keep and reuse them as to not waste actual leges as they are a product of actual living creatures, and it doesn’t seem to fair to do. I have been working lately on not overconsuming or being wasteful. I had a good time decorating the eggs and I love them.
The most beneficial thing I did, however, was all the internal work that went along with the preparation. Visualizing and meditating on what my new life will look and feel like. Visualizing what I want to embody. Starting to make the change in my day to day. One of the ways to celebrate and probably in my opinion the biggest pro of celebrating was writing out my goals for the rest of the sabbats up to Samhain or the wiccan new year. Where I will write another set of goals for the next year. This exercise inspired me to write out what my life looks like, what I have achieved, where my environment is and how that feels, how my relationships are, and financial state at each of the remaining sabbats or in other words every couple of months of the year leading up to Halloween. Something I’ve never really taken the time to do or even think about none the less.
My productivity in planning these rituals and writing all this have led to many more productive and inspired projects like creating cards and behavior charts to help my children remember tasks like brushing their teeth. So far, this experience has been beneficial in inspiring me to investigate what I like and dislike about my life as it is currently and start cleaning up or preparing the soil for comparison to gardening so that I can achieve and bring in the new energy and life force needed to achieve my soul’s desires and manifestations. As spring births new life, warmth and vibrance so does my soul. I’ve never felt more inspired to achieve my goals or more sure even of what they are. Hell, I’m just happy I’m taking the time to even think about it. I really do just feel like I’m building up to something so great I can’t even fully understand now what it is I’m building. I’ve always feared aging and this year I will be turning 30 I truly thought this would scare me half to death, but it feels like this birth cycle will be one to remember as a year I truly just made magic. So yeah, I’ll just be over here making the magic.
#incaseyougiveash*t.
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